I am SO lame
It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted, and my life is so boring and lame that I really don’t have anything to post about now. Let’s see…
- I have two new foster rabbits: Willa and Spencer, and I recently inherited our oldest living foster rabbit, Honey.
- I spent 45 minutes on Friday evening cutting mats out of the hair on my cat’s back – he’s so fat that he just can’t groom himself well, and all of the saliva just ends up gluing the hair together. It’s gross, and now he looks ridiculous. I hope he’s more comfortable.
- I’m moving forward with dog adoption – I’m working with a local rescue group, and went to an adoption event last Saturday to meet some of the dogs. I think I met “the one”, but am still waiting for the home visit to find out if I’m approved. I have a good feeling, but you never can tell…
- I’m psyching myself up this week for the big MEMORIAL SERVICE this Saturday. This thing has taken on a life of its own, and it’s more than my mom would have wanted. As far as I’m concerned, the only people that should be there are people that knew Mom, that loved her (or at least liked her), and have been supportive of our family. Those people will all be there, along with several others who haven’t had a presence in the lives of our family for years. The planning was sort of taken out of my hands – not unwillingly – so I’m just going to sit back and watch it unfold. It’s interesting to hear Dad’s perspective, because I think he’s looking for a different experience than I am. I’m pretty well over it, at this point, and am trying to figure out how I’m going to hold it together in front of all these people. I know I don’t have to hold it together, but I’m not really into sharing my grief at this point. Except in writing.
- I painted the spare bedroom this weekend – it’s a lovely shade of blue now, and while it needs another coat before it’s officially done, I’m ready to start filling it up with furniture. I’d like to get this daybed and thisbookcase from IKEA; I’d also like to get this lampshade to hang from a pendant cord. I think I’d like a glider, like this one to put in the corner for reading, but I’ll be checking Craigslist for one of those. I would also like to get a drafting table to use as a hobby station, but I’m not sure if that’s practical, since I also need to squeeze the sewing machine cabinet in there somewhere. Oh, and my grandmother’s cedar chest will be moving into that room, though I may refinish it and paint it red. I’m planning to hang the Sunbonnet Sue quilt that my Gammy made me when I was a little girl – it’s bordered with red and white gingham, and I think it’ll look great against the blue walls. Once that room is done, it’s on to the living room – I’m beginning to be in dire need of a new couch.
I think that’s about it. I’m ready to go to bed – I have an early day tomorrow, and then another night with the girls. It seems Pawpaw is playing “roadie” this week doing security for some kind of tour, so I’m pulling double babysitting duty. It’s a good thing the girls are so cute.
Filed under dogs, family, i want that!, me, rabbits | Comment (1)Cute
Sometimes the cute is too much to take… for being a special good girl tonight, Wia got to listen to music on my iPod, which she loves. We listened to several songs, and finally settled on Colbie Caillat’s “Bubbly”, which is her daddy’s favorite song. She sang along, stopping periodically to very seriously ask me to share my earbud with her stuffed bunny. The song ended, I put it all away, and she picked up the bunny and looked at him and said “Thank you for the fun singing!” Then she hugged it. And then I melted into a puddle of goo.
The other one, Emma, barrels into me as soon as I come in the door… “Are you here, Aunt Amanda?” All of her questions come out in this sing-songy little voice. But she’s such a teenager right now… one minute she’s all lovey, the next she’s yelling “I DO IT!” She’s awfully moody for a 2 year old. It’s a good thing she’s so adorable.
Mom
I’ve been trying to decide how to, and whether I should, write a post about my mother’s death. I wrote before about her diagnosis with uterine cancer, and she’s already gone. It was kind of a “one minute she’s fine, the next she’s not” scenario, and I won’t get into details, but it’s been such a hard month since it happened. We knew that death would ultimately be the outcome, but it was so FAST. I barely had a chance to process the diagnosis… let alone process the thought of never seeing or hugging my mom again, at least in this life.
I think we always know that it’s natural for our parents to die before we do, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic or sad. Mom was young – only 58 – and I thought she had lots of life ahead of her. Losing Mom has meant losing my best, best friend. I used to talk to her two or three times a day – for the silliest things, things I would never bother any other living soul about – and I can’t begin to say how many times I’ve come thisclose to picking up the phone and dialing her number. Dad joked about leaving her cell number connected, just so I could still call… but that wouldn’t be the same.
I thought I would have more to say about this loss, but there’s just not much to say, I guess. It’s the reason I’ve been so quiet – it’s hard to write witty posts when you don’t really feel all that witty. It’s kind of like the color went out of the whole world; it’s slowly coming back, just not fast enough. One of the things that irked me about Mom (and Dad) when she first became a Buffett fan was how she would quote him. She said Jimmy had a song for every situation, and by God, she knew which one fit. I asked her, the Wednesday before she died which one fit this situation… she didn’t answer, but I think it’s this one:
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On
from TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU
(Jimmy Buffett/Matt Betton)
I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man
Floating down Canal
It doesn’t use numbers or moving hands
It always just says now
Now you may be thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I have trouble the warranty said
Breathe in breathe out move on
And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Pontchartrain
Leaking through the door
Tides at war
If a hurricane doesn’t leave you dead
It will make you strong
Don’t try to explain just nod your head
Breathe in breathe out move on
And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
We’ve seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Ponchartrain
Buried the Ninth Ward
To the second floor
According to my watch the time is now
The past is dead and gone
Don’t try to shake it just nod your head
Breathe in breathe out move on
Don’t try to explain it just bow your head
Breathe in breathe out move on
© 2005 Coral Reefer Music (BMI) & Vernon Dubusque Music (BMI)
Filed under blues, family | Comment (0)
